This work documents the session of amateur female masochist Otsuka Misaki (pseudonym), who applied to the editorial department of an SM magazine as a model. Since childhood, she had felt intense arousal from the harsh punishments and painful depictions portrayed in anime and manga. As she grew older, she gradually realized she possessed a masochistic sexual tendency, which caused her significant inner turmoil. Though she met a boyfriend in college, her awareness of her masochism increasingly distanced her from a normal romantic relationship. In her third year, she registered on an SM dating site and experienced SM for the first time. Within the pain and suffering, she discovered a new kind of pleasure and deep satisfaction. Though she secretly wished, "I want you to hit me more with the whip...", she was too ashamed to speak it aloud. Later, as she became consumed with preparing for teacher certification exams, her connection with the SM world faded. Yet her desire to be bound grew stronger. She struggled with thoughts like, "As someone who wants to become a teacher, am I even allowed to engage in such acts?" Suppressing her masochistic desires, she spent her days masturbating while fantasizing about being tied up and whipped by strange men. Her decision to apply as an SM model came after the death of her grandmother. She realized that everyone must die, and that instead of suppressing her desires, it was important to live authentically. She wanted to know what kinds of pain and pleasure she could still feel—what her limits were. Her body might change with age; before that, she wanted to preserve a record of her SM self. She wished to share with others her image immersed in agony and ecstasy, and to let people with similar desires understand her true self. With this wish in her heart, she bravely contacted the editorial office of an SM magazine, asking, "Would you be willing to photograph my SM?" This is the story of one female masochist, sharing with you her deeply pleasurable expressions born from the pain she has felt since childhood.