Answering the nurse call, I wait. I am a nurse who questions nothing the doctor says, obediently following orders. Though I should be resisting deep inside, my body is drawn to this pleasure and cannot move. Sometimes it happens in the operating room, sometimes in the examination room—other times I'm caught in a reverse rape involving anesthesia. While I always strive to care for my patients with compassion and diligence, I can't fully suppress my own desires, living each day torn between duty and lust.