When I was ten years old, I first inserted a finger into my anus. At that moment, an unfamiliar, awkward sensation gripped my chest with intense discomfort. It wasn't just the friction of a finger—it was the instant I felt something special. A slightly warm, rough texture simultaneously aroused pleasure and unease. Every sensation focused solely on the entrance of my anus, and in that moment, I wanted to believe in God. It was the beginning of my redemption. This act might be unforgivable, yet I chose it anyway. When my anus was stimulated, strangely, my nipples also became highly sensitive. That alone was enough to satisfy me.