[ANKK-042]

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I used my experience as an older man to seek encounters through a dating app, and that's how my relationship with her began. What supported this encounter was my Photoshop skill, honed from creating thumbnail images. By editing my photos and claiming double my actual income, I started receiving messages from her nonstop, eventually leading to our meeting. She was a divorced mother, but since her child was staying with her parents, overnight stays were possible. On our first night together in a hotel, I climaxed quickly during sex—my first time in two years—and panicked, immediately resuming cunnilingus to cover it up. She told me afterward, "It's so nice when a guy really takes care of foreplay," and I felt things actually turned out well. We had sex several times after that. One night, seeing her passed out drunk, I couldn't help but recall my inner desires as an older man and impulsively grabbed my phone, starting to undress her. That impulse, though I knew it could hurt her, was overwhelmed by uncontrollable sexual urges I couldn't suppress. She was wearing sweatpants as loungewear, making it extremely difficult to remove them. It took me a full hour just to get the sweatpants off, and another hour to pull down her underwear. Her body was completely relaxed, and she was wet inside. I was driven by the urge to penetrate her, but fearing she might wake up, I struggled internally—yet still applied saliva to her vaginal opening and attempted to insert my fully erect cock. However, since she was unconscious, her legs wouldn't stay open even when spread, making penetration difficult. While missionary position might have worked, changing positions carried too much risk. After repeated attempts, my erection eventually faded. With no choice, I inserted fingers from my left hand into her vagina while jerking off with my right. I hesitated over where to cum, but ultimately ejaculated onto her left thigh. Thankfully, she didn't wake up, and I managed to finish without being discovered. Yet the moment I came, I regretted everything—realizing I might lose her because of my actions. Through this incident, I painfully realized how male desire can completely overpower reason. My relationship with her existed because of my manipulation as an older man—and thus, it was also something I could easily destroy. This woman looked and had a body nearly identical to my actual girlfriend, to the point I felt as if my real girlfriend had been turned into a masturbation toy by me. The shock and excitement were unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Knowing she was unconscious during this act filled me with intense anger—yet also deep guilt, realizing I had done something that could ruin her life. Actions like this don't just affect the victim—they can deeply impact her family and loved ones too. I feel I must honestly confront the nature of humanity: the more we know we shouldn't see something, the more we want to see it. Sharing this experience is meant as a warning to others. But since spreading it further could create even more problems, I'd appreciate it if this were shared quietly and discreetly.