Four months after graduating high school, I reunited with a former classmate I hadn't seen since we moved apart—she had transferred to Tochigi during high school. We reconnected through a junior high school reunion, and soon began exchanging emails. Although I never wanted a long-distance relationship, her kindness and repeated "I love you" messages won me over, and we started dating. She wasn't conventionally attractive and had never been in a relationship before, but she treated me with genuine warmth. I lived in a remote countryside area far from Tochigi—so distant it required a flight—so our chances to meet were extremely limited. Three months into our relationship, we finally got the chance to see each other. After a date, we went to a love hotel and had sex for the first time together. I'd had sex a few times with a previous partner, but with her, I was extremely nervous. We took a bath together, then moved to the bed where she removed my towel and embraced me. As we kissed and she fondled my breasts, I gradually got wet, and her eagerness to penetrate grew stronger. But she had no idea how to properly insert, and despite me guiding her—"Not there," "It's not going in"—nothing worked. I grew both physically and mentally exhausted. When she finally managed to enter, she moaned "It's so warm" and started thrusting, but after such a long, frustrating wait, my arousal had completely faded. I couldn't get into it or feel much pleasure at all. In the end, she couldn't cum inside, and I had to give her a blowjob while she finished herself off with her hand. My previous partner had been my first time, and he always came inside me, but I never orgasmed with him. Even as a virgin, I'd masturbated alone and could climax easily, so I'd had high hopes for sex. But after reading in a magazine that "many women can't orgasm," I started thinking maybe I wasn't alone. My ex was a cherry boy too, and while all my past boyfriends were kind and comfortable to be with, we often had poor sexual chemistry (were bad in bed?). But now, with my current girlfriend, squirting and mutual orgasms have become normal. I'm completely captivated by how perfectly we match in bed, and I'm still deeply in love with her.