I'm so tired! I've been drinking and staying up until morning, then going to work the next day—it's exhausting. Of course, I feel a bit guilty, but as a young guy in my twenties, I don't want to lose my aggressive edge. Taking turmeric supplements or whatever to sober up is such a hassle. Tonight, I'm planning to top it off with a hair of the dog and really finish myself off. Ugh, I'm so sleepy. My throat hurts from drinking, and lately there's been nothing fun going on, so I just end up drinking anyway. I'll drink alone. Even if someone's around, I'll definitely still drink. I guess I'm just lacking excitement. Still, I never thought I'd end up doing an AV. I figured it was some kind of pickup thing, but honestly, I was just bored so I went along with it. I haven't talked to any guys lately, barely had any conversations at all. So of course it ended up at a hotel. That's just how it goes, right? It'd been a while since I'd had sex, and on top of that, I got paid afterwards—maybe it was just the kind of thrill I needed.