Three years into marriage, I ended up cheating sooner than I had expected. People around me often said, "You got married so young—won't you want to play around later?" At the time, I secretly thought there might be some truth to that. My husband has been busy with work since we started dating, and I've hardly received any attention from him. Being young and still in good shape, I started wanting to be desired and admired more—so much so that I actually felt it was a waste not to. That's when I ended up with a casual sex partner. I know emotionally it's wrong, but I've learned to compartmentalize: one thing is one thing, and another is another. The reality, though, is that our physical chemistry isn't perfect. I began wondering how I could experience truly satisfying sex, which led me to adult videos. I realized I actually wanted someone a bit more forceful. Having my stockings torn off excited me deeply, and being made to climax repeatedly with sex toys drove me wild. In the end, feeling thick, heavy cum slowly dripping across my lips gave me intense satisfaction—both the sex and the cum were rich and overwhelming. I truly felt the difference with a professional. Now, I'm seriously considering leaving my casual partner behind and fulfilling my desires through AV instead.