Because my job requires attention to appearance, I'm extremely particular about my own looks. Of course, there's pride in being a model, but more than that, I want to cherish myself. I have three boyfriends, and at first they reacted with disbelief like "What are you talking about?" but each of them is important to me. More than caring about what others think, I strongly want to stay true to myself. I wanted to shoot a sex video because I wish to preserve my beauty, and also because sex with my boyfriends feels somewhat unsatisfying. I've always desired more passionate, intense sex—and this decision turned out to be absolutely right. I was thoroughly and intensely stimulated using sex toys. Even during foreplay, it was far more heated than anything my boyfriends had given me. I was deeply excited by the scene where I sucked the male actor's cock while simultaneously inserting a toy into myself and getting penetrated. The sensation of something large, hard, and hitting the deepest part was completely new—I couldn't even stand. Every position felt overwhelmingly pleasurable, leaving me no mental space to worry about how I looked on camera. Though I originally wanted to preserve my beauty, my facial expressions were probably utterly wrecked. But that's the real me right now. Please accept me as I am.