She considers herself beautiful, and all her past partners have said the same. Sex has always been passive for her—pleasant enough, but lacking true satisfaction. Because of this, she constantly found herself fantasizing about being pushed to the edge. She desired to be tied up, to be verbally degraded with filthy words, craving exactly that kind of treatment. Yet in reality, she never had the courage to voice these desires. She always maintained the image of a strong, independent woman who wouldn't simply obey men. But that image was false. The real her harbored a deep longing to be thoroughly defiled, to sink completely into a world of shame and humiliation. Every day, she struggled with the conflict between the self she showed to others and the true self hidden deep inside.