My husband is my senior from ● school and the first man I ever dated. I don't particularly have any complaints about him, but I can't help but wonder—am I truly fulfilled as a woman when my only experience with men is with him? I've only ever had missionary-style sex with my husband, and I feel like something is missing. I secretly crave the desire to lose myself shamelessly, to let go completely—and I can't suppress the urge to be watched while I do. No one knows this side of me. My husband would never imagine it.