I once had a boy I was only physically involved with. Back when I was still dating my ex, I got lonely and ended up sleeping with him after he invited me. After that, we started seeing each other frequently, and our relationship gradually deepened. However, I always stuck to my rule of never having sex without a condom. After he once asked to go bareback, I pulled away a little. It had already been about half a year since then. One night, he suddenly called me. "I missed the last train—can I stay over?" Since I can't have sex without a condom, I firmly said, "No!" But then he pleaded, "It's my one and only request," and I had been craving sex lately, increasingly longing to feel real pleasure with an actual cock, so I agreed to let him stay. When he arrived, we chatted normally, with no sexual tension at all. I thought, "Huh, so nothing's going to happen tonight?" and "I really want to have sex after all this time." Sitting on the bed, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, slowly pulled me close, and kissed me. It had been so long since our last kiss—I was instantly captivated, moaning softly as my pussy began to get wet. As the kissing continued, his hand moved to my breasts, gently touching my nipples, making my breathing grow heavier. I felt embarrassed at how aroused I was after so long and tried to hold back, but I could feel his erection. His hand reached my clit, and since I'm extremely sensitive there, I got soaking wet, desperately wishing for him to enter me. But there was no condom, and I'd made up my mind never to have bareback sex, so I firmly said, "No condom, no sex." He replied, "I'll go buy one," and my heart fluttered a little, but he never came back that night. Since then, he hasn't contacted me, and I've hesitated to reach out myself. I hoped he'd notice I was available and get in touch, but even before having sex, I secretly masturbated.