I've often been misunderstood or judged by my appearance, and at first, it bothered me. I wanted people to know who I really was, to see my true self. But eventually, I came to accept myself and realized I didn't need to care about others' opinions. People around me would say things like "You're so careless" or "You never think," making assumptions without knowing me, so I started playing along, putting on a mask. Before long, I lost track of who I really was. The me at home, the me at work, the me with friends—none of it felt real anymore, and I stopped caring. I became reckless, drawn to jobs where I could easily make money, wanting to try things I'd always been curious about. I'm not even sure why I changed, but I figured if I ever wanted to do something, I should just go for it. Maybe it would give my life meaning, maybe it would open new doors. That's why I decided to apply. When I actually started filming, it wasn't what I expected. But I refused to do anything I was uncomfortable with, and seeing how seriously the male performers took their work, I realized how truly professional they were. I thought I'd be too nervous to feel anything, but because he was so gentle, I relaxed and began to feel pleasure. Maybe this is how love begins.