I had no choice but to do it again. Selling this filthy video once more. I've smoked cigarettes before despite swearing to quit, and I've visited brothels the very next day after vowing not to cheat. But this act carries a depth of seriousness far beyond mere self-loathing or regret. I'm complicit in a crime that could completely destroy someone's life. All for the sake of survival. For reality. If my parents found out, they'd probably scream at me—after all, they sent me to college so I could gain knowledge, not become this. I'd be cast out from my family. Every shred of trust and effort I've built would collapse in an instant. If the public ever learns these videos exist, the words "criminal" and "die" might be carved into the door of my apartment. I'd spend the rest of my life living under scornful fingers pointed at my back. Yet I know all this, and still I diligently continue aiding this crime. No... let me be honest. The last remnants of my conscience bring back the words my parents repeated so often: "Lying is wrong. You don't have to become rich, just live honestly." That was their way of saying they knew they couldn't make me wealthy. So at least I should stay honest—otherwise, it makes no sense. What's worse than a poor liar? You can't become rich just by trying, but anyone, even a fool, can choose to be honest. That's probably what they believed. Lately, I've been remembering those words. Dad, Mom... I'm lying. Yes, let me admit it honestly. I utterly despise this old man, yet I'm completely aroused by the footage he shoots. The acts, the women, the procedures—perfect videos. The fact that I can sell them, that I can watch this material firsthand... there's no luckier position than this. My excuse is survival, but the truth is I'm doing this job to satisfy my own sexual desires. More than money, it's the pleasure of watching this content. Saying this, I know I'll be despised by all humanity. Rightfully so—I'm a criminal too. But today, I've honestly revealed my inner thoughts, shameful as they are. When you're aroused only by such depraved acts, you've already given up on a happy marriage. In that case, why not commit myself fully to this old man, sharing his fate until the end? I'll support him from behind the scenes, ensuring he can continue these monstrous acts for as long as possible. I know someone as despicable as me won't be believed, but please, take a look at the four women in this video. To so easily strip and utterly ruin such stunningly beautiful women, turning them into broken masturbatory toys—only this old man could pull it off. Any woman who meets his standards is guaranteed. His aesthetic sense is divine. The man I once loathed, I now find myself worshipping. And with that comes overwhelming self-loathing. I should just die. The world would be better off. Yet even as I think that, my erection won't go away. What about you, the viewer? Part of me wants as many people as possible to see this video, while another part fears the inevitable disaster if it spreads too far. So please... let's share it quietly.